I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
