Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
