actually, I'm a sock model
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
