We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
