my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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