Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
