we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
