didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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