we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
