They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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