We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am one with the molecules
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize