The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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