Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
