Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
