If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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