Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
