This girl is more easily done than said...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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