i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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