moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
