did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
