its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
