In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
