So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
