your thong is hanging out like whoa
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
