just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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