At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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