I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
