I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
