that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
