OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
