How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
