Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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