how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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