Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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