I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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