I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
