Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
