When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize