Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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