is your mom at the bar?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He did a backflip because drugs
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
