apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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