i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
