For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
