Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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