You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
