Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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