I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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