can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
