You just made me feel so damn special
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
