Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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