the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
