How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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