Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
