Hey man sorry I got all grabby
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
