i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
