Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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