is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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