We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
