all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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