now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
