i may or may not be watching the land before time
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
