They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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