Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
