i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
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