And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
