Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
