I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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