When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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