no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
