he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
