it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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