HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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